Our beloved Dawn Lee McKenna walks us through the truth. As so many of us have realized after those post-divorce blues--hey! being single ain't so farkin' bad after all. In fact, it's downright delicious. Here are 8 totally legit reasons we'd choose alone over unhappily-coupled any damn day. Love, Gwen & Lark
There are lots of articles and blog posts that’ll tell you that being with the next guy is better than being with your ex-guy, but these articles are basically just assuming that you have to be with some guy in order to be happy. Yeah, if you sell your old car, you probably need to have your new car at the ready. But relationships aren’t Priuses.
Take it from someone who went from being single for eons - just eons - then got miserably married, and then became single again. At this point in my life, I wouldn’t touch a new relationship with your ten foot pole, and I have some pretty good reasons for that. None of them have to do with hating men.
1. Your time is your own.
Okay, so the 12% of my day that’s my time (as in, not my time with my kids) is really my time. I don’t have to consult someone else about how I spend it. Nobody’s waiting for me to spend it with them. If I want to call my best girlfriend, I do. If I want to paint my toenails, I will. If I want to watch an entire season of Magnum, P.I because I can’t actually go to Hawaii or have Tom Selleck, then I will.
2. You can have an actual social life outside of a relationship.
Remember when (or maybe you’re still there) you had to choose between being with friends and being with your man? Either your friends complained they never saw you or your man complained that your friends were more important. Either way, you lost with somebody.
If you’re not in a relationship, you get to have a social life that doesn’t involve balancing friends with man. Now you just have to balance time with Amanda versus time with Kelly and listen to Kelly whine when you’d rather go to the Farmer’s market with Amanda. But geez, Kelly’s such a skank, anyway. Unfriend her.
3. Self-esteem. You can haz.
“Have you gained a couple of pounds, babe?” Yeah, nobody’s gonna say that. You know why? Because you only get naked in front of yourself, and you’re just too damn considerate to make a remark like that.
4. Being alone is cheaper.
So many budget categories grow exponentially when you’re in a relationship. Gifts, cards, eyebrow shaping, picking up the tab now and then, new lingerie. Gah!
When you’re single, you can spread those bikini wax appointments out a little bit if you need to. Or skip them altogether and choose some other form of self-torture, like joining a book club.
Okay, minor thing, but they’re flowery and pretty. And they’re always dry, unless you’re careless with your chamomile tea.
6. No drama.
Sure, there are people who have drama-free relationships. Ironically, you’ll find them on Netflix, under Drama.
No relationship, no drama. Except for The Teenager and your best friend and her drama, because she didn’t read this post.
7. Your goals and plans are your own.
You don’t have to include the man, or wonder if you should include the man, or wonder of you should write your goals and plans in pencil because the man might vaporize next week.
8. Being happy alone gives you the time and perspective to wait on the right relationship.
I’m not against relationships. I am, in fact, one of the most ridiculous romantics I know. I believe in all the things. But I’ve learned that being completely single can be peaceful, simple and downright happy-making. I’m fine with it, but I’ll also be thrilled one day down the road, when the right man comes along. That day when Tom Selleck finally comes to his damn senses.