Dawn Lee McKenna is one of our favorite single mom writers. When she's not spilling brilliant words of wisdom for us, she's writing the most romantic Southern Fiction you've ever read. Serious. Grab a glass of raspberry wine, prepare to laugh and cry, and read all of her books this weekend. You deserve this shit hardcore time. Heart, Gwen & Lark
Forget about all of those magazine articles and those books with wildflowers on their covers that tell you to meditate, find another man, or take up yoga. Here’s your plan for getting over your ex, in five simple steps.
1. Start (and refer to often) a Vision Board on Pinterest.
On this vision board, pin all of the places you can go now that you don’t have to restrict yourself to places that he was interested in. Pin all of the redecorating that you can do now that you decide whether your décor is based on beach cottages or Duck Dynasty. Pin new hobbies you want to take up, old hobbies you want to resume, those abs you have time to work for and the food you can cook that he would have hated.
When you’re feeling mopey (or you have your finger over his phone number in your contact list), just pull up your vision board and re-center yourself.
2. That One Thing.
Do that one thing that you never got to do much because he didn’t like it. Buy that one dress that he wouldn’t have liked. Rent all of the movies only you wanted to see. Call that one friend he couldn’t stand and make a lunch date. Better yet, invite her over for dinner and all of the movies.
3. Assess Your Before and After You.
Which dreams, goals, and plans did you set aside when you got with your ex? Which ones are still desirable? Which parts of yourself did you tend to gloss over or even cover up entirely because they didn’t suit him or your relationship? Did you want to write a book, move closer to the kids, change jobs, or go back to school? You can do those things now. Did you tuck away your sarcasm, your romanticism, or your love of being alone?
Well, now you can do, have and be those things again. In other words, you are a person of possibilities. Focus on those and go after them. Pretty soon, he’ll just be a part of the old you.
4. Change Everything.
You know, when you lose something or someone, people tend to say, “Well, at least you still have____.” Or, “At least _____ is still the same’.” But you know what “same” reminds you of? The past. Him. The two of you.
I’m not saying change everything, but change a lot of stuff. Try ordering a different coffee at Starbucks. Take a different route to work. Run in the evening instead of the morning. Take the dog to the other park. Sleep on the other side of the bed. Move the bed to the other side of the room. Eat with the good dishes. Get rid of the old ones.
When you start developing new routines, doing new things, doing things in new places, you know what happens? You start living a life that didn’t used to have him in it.
5. Give Yourself a Month as a Gift.
One month, in which you focus on you…what you want, what you want to do, who you want to be, how you want to look, etcetera. Dream, then plan, then take steps. Even if all you do in this one month is focus on your wants and needs and dreams, you will come out of that month focused on something beside him. You will be focused on you.
The best way to get over a broken heart isn’t to find someone else to make it better. It’s too find all of the possibilities that make this life better than the one you think you lost.
What Works for You?
Your turn! Spill it, Single Mama's. What technique helped you stop aching over your ex? Tune in below, we're dying to know. XO.